This week has been a week! So much has been happening with life and work that my head is spinning. Then I received this week’s questions and I instantly got excited. Joseph and I are really enjoying answering these relationship questions. We are having conversations that we may not have had this early on or at all.
This week our questions are coming from my friend Silver. Silver and I have been friends for just about 8 years. We started out as co workers and quickly became tight. She is my energetic, live life to the fullest, dreamer friend. Her love story with her boyfriend Ramond is so cute. It started in college. They parted ways and rekindled a couple of years ago. Now, they are flourishing and recently welcomed my beautiful niece Harlem!
With Silver and Ramond being in a different chapter of their relationship their questions are more aligned with marriage and family. Check out our thoughts below!
How do you manage different beliefs within your relationship?
Joseph: I don’t think we have different beliefs.
Me: Really?! That’s all you got?
Joseph: Ok, what different beliefs do you have?
Me: [thinking] I guess I would have to say we have different approaches not necessarily different beliefs.
Joseph: But that wasn’t the question.
Me: Thank you Captain Obvious. Don’t start with me sir!
How and how often do you communicate with each other when you are both busy and have to schedule time to see one another?
Joseph: We talk all the time so I think that’s how we manage.
Me: Yeah we talk at least 3-4 times a day in different ways. I was talking about that with my mom today. She said that’s a lot, lol. I don’t think so because it doesn’t feel like that. Plus we talk in different ways like text and video chats.
Has there been a time when one of you felt neglected in the relationship? If so, how did you reconcile?
Joseph: I can’t think of a time that I’ve felt neglected. I mean, unless we discuss you not living in your truth? [smiles]
Me: We are not about to do this again! [both laughing] I have never felt neglected and we are going to go with neither have you, ok? Ok!
What are some, if any lines that you do not cross over and speak about in your relationship to avoid offending or hurting your partner?
Joseph: The only thing we don’t talk about is Jerrell (Joseph’s son). I think you don’t think I’m a good parent.
Me: I wound NEVER say that and apologize that that’s how it felt. When it comes to Jerrel my intention is to make sure you have the best relationship with him possible. For instance, if you want to talk to me about his mom I am always making sure that he is not around. I don’t ever want him to feel like he has to deal with any adult issues and I don’t want to have your relationship impacted by something he’s heard you say regarding her. I’ve seen that go really bad.
Joseph: I get that. Thank you.
Me: I don’t think I avoid any topics but I think that I tailor what I say, how I say it, and when I say it because I want you to hear what I am saying and not make you feel any type of way.
Joseph: I would rather you just tell me. I’d be more upset if you didn’t.
Me: I just don’t want you to try and interpret what I am saying because no interpretation is necessary. [In my NeNe voice] I said what I said!
Joseph: See, now you tryin’ it! [both laugh]
What qualities, needs/wants, requirements do you think it take s to make any relationship sustain itself to segway to marriage?
Joseph: Communication. To me communication is everything. If you don’t have communication, you have nothing. Everything stems from that.
Me. I would say compromise. I think compromise is a deal breaker. If we don’t compromise then we are not going to be functioning as a team.
Joseph: I think we have that so we are good. Let’s get married tomorrow!
Me: Oh, lord! [Both laugh]
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