Girl we have come such a long way. Since I can remember you have been at the forefront of my mind however not always for the best reasons. There have been days where I didn’t mind you and days where I hated your very existence.
On the good days you were the part of me that kept me warm. When I laughed, I knew it was good if you started to have that good ache. You even were kind enough to expand when some good food was nearby. But on those not so good bad days you really showed out. You would make me question my attractiveness because you refused to hide. Instead, you just had to be out in front. I did everything I thought of to try and conceal you. All black clothing, shape wear, strategic hand placement and posture. Nothing worked. Everyone saw you. The looks of pity, displeasure, and sometimes poorly veiled shame have been sprinkled throughout life all because of you.
After what seams like an eternity, I think I have finally figured you out. You my darling are my mirror. You are the most honest part of me. When I’m treating myself well and giving myself what I need you take your place and slowly fade to the background. When I’m not in the best of places you take it upon yourself to show up for me with your mere existence. Its almost like when I can’t show up as my fullest self you pick up the slack.
I apologize for not understanding you until now. Making you such the villian in my story. You were there to help in your own way and this whole time I missed. I now see you for what you are. My indicator of complete wellness. Now I know to treat myself better because that’s all you’ve wanted from me. The only thing I ask in return, my dear stomach, is that you show me a small bit of grace during that time of the month. Its a rough time for me, haha!
Humbly and honorably yours,